hindsight is perfect
ומי יודע אם לעת כזאת הגעת למלכותAnd who knows, perhaps for a time like this you reached royalty.[i]
Question
After spending three days in custody, the brothers of Yosef are brought back before the Viceroy (Yosef), who issues an ultimatum: one brother (Shimon) must be bound and kept as a hostage while the rest return home to fetch their youngest brother – Binyomin. Standing there before the Viceroy and his interpreter (Menashe), the reality of their situation sets in, and the brothers begin a profound process of soul-searching.
Speaking to one another, they conclude[ii]
אבל אשמים אנחנו על אחינו אשר ראינו צרת נפשו בהתחננו אלינו ולא שמענו, על כן באה אלינו הצרה הזאת
Indeed we are guilty concerning our brother, in that we saw the distress of his soul when he begged us and we did not listen; therefore, this distress has come upon us.
The very next verse states
ן ראובן אתם לאמר הלוא אמרתי אליכם לאמר אל תחטאו בילד ולא שמעתם, וגם דמו הנה נדרש
And Reuven answered them, saying: ‘Did I not speak to you, saying, “Do not sin against the lad”, and you would not listen, and also his blood is being demanded.’
The obvious question is – the brothers hadn’t asked a question. They were making a definitive statement of guilt. Why does the Torah preface Reuvain’s statement with ויען – and he answered. The Torah could simply have said, ויאמר – And he said. Furthermore, as Rashi notes on the previous verse, the word אבל – Indeed means they were admitting absolute truth. This is the exact opposite of a question, as a question inherently implies the possibility of doubt.
Most commentators[iii] imply that Reuvain, the Master of Teshuva, actually recognized an opportunity here. The brothers had come to realize that they had acted wrongly, and that these circumstances were the result. But he felt their regret was only limited to their treatment of Yosef. They didn’t feel the anguish of their father – and therefore, he jumped in at this moment to help his brothers achieve a greater level of Teshuva. This is why Rashi explains the term דמו – his blood (without referencing whose blood) actually means Yaakov’s suffering not Yosef’s. Reuvain was thus hyping them up to a greater level of Teshuva.
- But still, this doesn’t answer our question. The Torah could have said that Reuvain said this. What exactly was Reuvain ‘answering’?
Expanding the Question
Assuming Reuvain was indeed “answering” an unasked question, which is why the verse uses the term ויען – and he answered – why wouldn’t he actually address the statements made by the brothers. The brothers had said על כן באה אלינו הצרה הזאת – therefore, this distress has come upon us. Granted the brothers felt distressed by what was occurring: a few days of anguish, Shimon being temporarily detained while they went to fetch Binyomin, but certainly that is hardly the kind of punishment one can expect assessed against righteous people of their caliber[1] considering they had conspired and attempted to kill their brother, and then they actually sold him into slavery, and then caused their father grief for twenty-two (22) years.
The brothers, in their moment of distress, felt they were currently paying their debt. Reuven stepped in to answer their unasked theological assumption. He was correcting their misconception: This minor distress was not the punishment. As they hadn’t completed Teshuva yet, by feeling regret and renouncing what they did – this wasn’t the end of what they would have to face. As Reuvain concludes וגם דמו הנה נדרש – and his blood [is still] being demanded.
Contextual Background
The Master of Teshuva
If Reuvain was indeed answering their unasked theological assumption about punishment, we must ask: why was it Reuvain who possessed this clarity?
The Midrash and the Gemara frequently refer to Reuvain as the ultimate “Master of Teshuva”[iv]. Yet the Gemara[v] also states that it was actually Yehuda’s public confession (regarding Tamar) that ultimately inspired Reuvain to publicly confess his own sin concerning his father’s bed! If Reuvain needed Yehuda’s inspiration for public acknowledgment, how did Reuvain earn the primary title of the Master of Teshuva?
To understand this, we must look at the mechanics of Teshuva. As the Rambam and the Alter Rebbe[vi] explain, while regret and confession are the first steps, there are certain severe levels of sin where Teshuva alone is not enough to wipe the slate clean. Sometimes, only ייסורים (physical affliction or punishment) can completely scour the soul.
Reuvain knew he had committed a grave offense in messing up his father’s marital bed, yet he had not been struck by Heaven with a physical or spiritual punishment. Recognizing that his soul was still burdened, he proactively took the punishment upon himself, engaging in fasting, wearing sackcloth, and praying for the rest of his life. True, he learned about the necessity of public confession from Yehuda, but in terms of actually cleansing himself of the sin by physical suffering and spiritual toll, Reuvain was the absolute master.
Standing in the presence of the Viceroy of Egypt, Reuvain was the only brother who truly understood what it meant to endure a lifetime of affliction to cleanse a sin. He knew firsthand that a few days of distress in an Egyptian prison was not the final payment for selling a brother into slavery.
And thus, he spoke up to exhort his brothers to greater levels of Teshuva.
The Ultimate Guarantee
This deep, internalized feeling of liability also explains Reuvain’s seemingly bizarre and desperate offer to his father later on, when trying to secure permission for Binyomin to descend to Egypt. When his father hesitated in allowing Binyomin to go, Reuvain spoke up and offered the following guarantee[vii] את שני בני תמית אם לא אביאנו אליך – You may put my two sons to death if I do not bring him back to you.
Why would a father offer the lives of his own children? Indeed, as Rashi notes, Yaakov said to himself, ‘my son [Reuvain] is imbecilic – for are these [Reuvain’s children] not my children as well?’
In actuality, this was not an insane statement; Reuvain had made the following calculation. If he was truly guilty of a capital sin before Heaven, the Divine decree would eventually take his life and / or his family line anyway.[viii] It was only a matter of time[2]. On the other hand, as the only brother who had actively saved Yosef from death by having the brothers temporarily throw Yosef into the pit, he was perhaps the safest brother to undertake the guarantee for Binyomin as he was not subject to specific divine retribution for attempting to kill Yosef, nor was he present during the sale to have incurred responsibility for that either.
Either way, Reuvain was so haunted by his failure to be there for Yosef in his time of need, he resolved that never again would a brother cry out and find him missing. He would bring Binyomin back or die trying. And if he died, it would be for his sin with his father’s bed, then he would have died anyway – as would his children. Yaakov, of course, did not know this internal calculus and didn’t even bother to flatly refuse the offer.
The Mathematics of Blood
When Reuvain answers the brothers, he concludes with a chilling phrase: וגם דמו הנה נדרש – and also his blood is being demanded. This is the type of phrase used in talking about retributions for a murder.
This presents two questions:
- The brothers had not actually murdered Yosef. Why were they being held liable for his blood?
- Furthermore, Rashi explicitly comments that the extra word וגם – and also is meant to include Yaakov. But Yaakov was not physically harmed or murdered!
The answer lies in the devastating consequences of the brothers’ actions.
Their sin caused the Divine Presenceto depart from Yaakov, as we know from the verse[ix] ותחי רוח יעקב אביהם – and the Spirit of Yaakov their father lived – on which Rashi comments that the Divine Presence returned. Since the Divine Presence cannot rest where there is grief – when Yaakov was told his son Yosef had passed away, he was plunged into a state of living death and unrelenting grief for exactly twenty-two (22) years.[x]
Simultaneously, their actions caused Yosef to suffer in the agony of slavery and exile for exactly twenty-two (22) years.
We find the hint that Reuvain was actually referring to the grief of both father and son, since he uses the term דמו – his blood without defining whose. The Gematria (numerical value) of the Hebrew word דם is exactly forty-four (44). This hints at both sets of the twenty-two years combined [22 + 22 = 44].
They did not spill Yosef’s physical blood. But they spilled a combined forty-four (44) years of life from their father and their brother. That is the דם – ‘blood’ that Reuvain understood was currently being demanded of them.
It is worth noting that hearing this statement is what causes Yosef to turn away and burst into tears in the very next verse. Yosef suddenly realizes his own tacit contribution to his father’s twenty-two (22) years of grief by keeping his survival a secret. True, he was prohibited by חרם from revealing what his brothers had done, but, as viceroy, he could have found some way to let that information “slip” to his father. This prompted him to cut the tests short and move on to the final test to see if the brothers are truly ready to sacrifice themselves to save Yaakov from further pain, and to save Binyomin from slavery.
Deepening the Inquiry: The Laws of Teshuva
The Two Realms of Forgiveness
This entire calculation by Reuvain though still leaves us with one question: Considering the immense severity of their crime—attempting to kill their brother, then selling him into slavery, and lying to their father for twenty-two (22) years – why were the brothers not struck with a severe divine punishment?
Furthermore, as evidenced by Reuvain constantly dwelling on the matter, and the Torah noting that Yehuda dropped in stature because of the sale[xi], the brothers obviously felt immense guilt for their actions. If they felt such regret, why hadn’t their Teshuva worked? Why did Reuvain still believe their “blood was being demanded“?
The answer lies in the fundamental difference between a sin against G-d בין אדם למקום and a sin against one’s fellow man בין אדם לחברו.
When a person sins against G-d, even single a momentary, sincere thought of Teshuva in their heart brings immediate forgiveness from Heaven. Reuvain, the Master of Teshuva, knew this. From Heaven’s perspective, because the brothers felt genuine regret, G-d had already forgiven them.
However, no amount of internal Teshuva or fasting can ever fix a sin committed between one person and another – unless the transgressor explicitly asks the victim for forgiveness.[xii] Since the brothers couldn’t find Yosef, they had no opportunity to ask his forgiveness. And since they could not tell Yaakov the truth without devastating him even more, they had no chance to seek their father’s forgiveness either. They were trapped in a state of incomplete Teshuva.
So, why didn’t Heaven punish them for this unresolved sin against man?
Because Reuvain did not know a simple secret: Yosef had already forgiven them with a full heart. Yosef was able to see behind the scenes of G-d’s plan. As he would later tell them[xiii], כי למחיה שלחני אלקים לפניכם – For G-d sent me before you to preserve life. Even if the brother’s intentions had been ill-willed, G-d had wrought goodness and kindness through those very actions. Enough to sustain an empire of people. Yosef held no ill will toward his brothers. Because the victim had already forgiven them in his heart, punishment from Heaven was not called for.
The Unspoken Apology and the 17-Year Delay
Even though Yosef had forgiven them internally, Halaĉa still required the brothers verbalize their regret to him.
The moment Yosef dramatically revealed his identity to them would have been the perfect time to apologize. But they were in a state of absolute shock, completely disarmed by Yosef’s weeping and his unconditional love for them. In the emotional whirlwind of moving their families to Egypt, the apology was entirely forgotten – especially because Yosef warned them against discussing the Halaĉic ramifications during their quick journey back to Yaakov.
In fact, for the next seventeen (17) years – the best, most peaceful years of Yaakov’s life – not once did the brothers think to formally ask Yosef for forgiveness.
It was only when Yaakov passed away that the illusion of closure was shattered. Yosef, who had regularly invited his brothers to dine with him and spend time together, suddenly stopped inviting them.[xiv] The brothers were terrified. They had no idea why his demeanor had changed.
It was only then, that they searched their hearts and realized the glaring omission: They had never actually asked for forgiveness. Without asking Yosef explicitly, their Teshuva was incomplete. They didn’t know that Yosef had stopped asking them around because he felt uncomfortable with the honor they heaped on him – but once again, G-d turned this uncomfortable situation into a means to fully reconcile the brothers.
The brothers sent Yosef’s favorite siblings to beg for mercy on all their behalf and then they too threw themselves down before Yosef, offering themselves as his slaves – the complete reversal of everything they had sought to do when they sold him. But they needn’t have worried. Yosef had forgiven them completely decades ago; there was nothing left for him to do but comfort them and speak to their hearts.
AND THEREFORE…
Bringing Life and Light to Others
Sometimes, even those at the highest spiritual heights – like Reuvain, the Master of Teshuva – seek to understand G-d’s immediate plan. When distress hits, the natural reaction is to ask: Why is he doing this to us? What have we done wrong?
What we learn from this saga is that even the mere thought of regret is enough to trigger G-d’s immediate forgiveness. He is not human; he does not hold a grudge against those who turn to him, even if that turning is just a simple wonderment at what is going wrong in their lives.
But instead of agonizing over the immediate “why” of our hardships, we must strive to approach our lives with the perspective of our shepherd, Yosef. Yosef was able to look past decades of betrayal, slavery, and imprisonment, and see behind the scenes of the Divine plan.
When he finally comforts his brothers, he tells them
כי למחיה שלחני אלקים לפניכם
For G-d sent me before you to bring life.
This was not just a historical statement; it is a paradigm for how a Jew must view their own hardships. There is a vast, Divine pattern playing out. Sometimes that pattern involves temporary suffering. We do not know why. And even if we could ask G-d in the moment, we would not understand the answer.
Instead, we have to internalize Yosef’s profound realization: I have been sent here. Whatever dark pit, Egyptian prison, or personal distress we find ourselves in, we are not there simply to endure our own paltry suffering. We are sent there למחיה – to bring life to others. We are placed in those exact, agonizing circumstances so that we can ultimately fill the people around us with G-dly light and purpose.
Seeing the Behind the Scenes
When Moshe asked to understand G-d’s ways, G-d responded[xv]
וראית את אחורי ופני לא יראו
You will see My back, but My face shall not be seen.
Humans [even those like Moshe who could talk to G-d face-to-face] do not have the capacity to look G-d in the “face” – to understand his innermost plan while the suffering is actively occurring. It is only in hindsight, looking back at the tapestry of history, that we can see how every moment of distress and every twist of our personal history was perfectly woven together. Not as a punishment, but as a setup – leading us exactly to where we needed to be to reveal G-d’s presence and bring light to the world.
[1] The Yom Kippur Maĉzor implies that the true punishment for this crime was held off for centuries, ultimately paid by the Ten Martyrs during Roman times. That could simply be the excuse the Roman’s used, and in fact, they [the Ten Martyrs] were underserving of punishment altogether.
[2] See Yerushalmi [Bikkurim 2:1] and the Gemara [Moed Katan [28a], which state that the punishment of Kares strikes at age fifty.
A chronological accounting of the verses reveals exactly why this was weighing on Reuvain’s mind. Yosef was 17 when sold (Beraishis 37:2), and 30 when he stood before Pharaoh (41:46). Add the 7 years of plenty and the 2 years of famine (45:6), and Yosef was exactly 39 years old during this encounter. Since Reuvain was born approximately 7 years before Yosef (during Yaakov’s second seven-year term working for Lavan), Reuvain was roughly 46 years old at this time. He was standing right on the threshold of his 50th year, the exact age when the decree of כרת וערירי – which takes both the sinner and his minor children – would strike. This explains his intense anxiety, his fasting, and the specific theological calculation behind offering his children’s lives as a guarantee. Perhaps, with the action of self-sacrifice, he could actually save his children from punishment if he could succeed in bringing Binyomin home safely.
[i] Ester 4:14
[ii] Beraishis 42:21
[iii] See Sforno and Kli Yakar
[iv] See Midrash Rabba Beraishis 84:19:
Hashem says to Reuvain, “No man has ever sinned before Me and done Teshuva. You were the first to open with Teshuva. Therefore, your descendent Hoshay’a will stand and open with Teshuva first*, [as it says in the verse Hoshay’a 14:2] שובה ישראל עד ה’ אלקיך.
* Perhaps, what the Midrash means by first is, this is the first Haftorah read after Rosh Hashana – in preparation for Yom Kippur.
[v] Gem. Sota 7b
[vi] Igeres HaTeshuva Chp. 1 and 2
[vii] Beraishis 42:37
[viii] See Rashi Vayikra 20:17, and on Gem. Shabbos 25a. See also Gem. Yevamos 55a and Tosefos אשת אח Yevamos 2a.
[ix] Beraishis 45:27
[x] As to why Yaakov had to suffer for twenty-two years, Gem. Megilla 17a explains this was the result of Yaakov spending the same amount of time away from his own father studying.
[xi] See Gem. Sota 13b based on the verse [Beraishis 38:1] וירד יהודה מאת אחיו
[xii] Rambam תשובה 1:4
[xiii] Beraishis 45:5
[xiv] See Rashi on Beraishis 50:15
[xv] Shemos 33:23